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How can we live gladly ever after

We read fairytale storybooks whenever we were young and the storyline always end with- Plus they live happily ever after. I am sure everyone would like to lead a happy life. So how are we in a position to live happily ever before after? What must we do to lead a happy life?

In Wikipedia, Happiness is conceptualized as a state of brain or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure or happiness. Happiness can also be described as the quality or state of being happy. According to Diener, Lucas and Scollon (2006), enjoyment is defined as having positive beliefs about life, life satisfaction, and regular positive emotions in accordance with negative ones. I really believe the word 'Contentment' are described differently among all people. Happiness in this article will be defined as life satisfaction level, subjective well being of people, and having contentment, pleasure and happiness.

What brings us delight, and what don't?

Material Purchases

Do a lot of women shop when they are sensing annoyed? I'm one of the numerous women who shop even more when I'm annoyed. To numerous, shopping is similar to etail therapy. To a certain degree, retail remedy makes us to feel happy. Just how true is this affirmation- Materialism brings delight? Relating to Boven (2005), material purchases are created to attain the materials possession. Why materials purchases bring happiness? Yes, material buys can bring joy to many individuals. Material purchases such as branded handbags, cars improve the self esteem of individual. Buying of luxury goods actually show the communal status of several individual and help foster social relationship (Boven, 2005). Baumeister (1993) found that individuals with high self-confidence have lower hazards of stress disorders and lower threat of suffering from depression, this demonstrates individual who self-confidence are higher are more likely to solve problems, and hence, having higher-level of contentment. However, such delight has very brief life span. Though buying and shopping brings pleasure, but according to Kasser & Ryan (1996), people who go for materialistic goals are less happy and less content with life. The short lived happiness given by material acquisitions brings long-term unhappiness. This is because materialistic people incur a rather huge amount of costs to follow the materials delight. For instance, those who go after materialistic goals tend to spend more, they are likely to use bank cards and have lending options (Watson, 2003). Thus, materialistic people are miserable in the permanent as they have to clear the credit cards debt, etc, because the function of clearing loans and debts will not bring them contentment and fulfillment.

Experiential Purchases

As identified by Boven (2005), experiential buys are created with the intention of acquiring life experience. The difference between material purchases and experiential purchases is the difference in motive. People who do material buys include the motive of possessing materials goods, whereas, experiential purchases includes the goal of obtaining more real life encounters, and knowledge. Whether it is experiential or material purchases, it all will depend on the consumer's motives, hence, it is rather subjective to categorize the sort of purchases. Boven and Gilovich (2003) does a telephone study, and they found that 57% of respondents feel more happy when they made experiential acquisitions. So why does experiential purchases make one feel happy? Experiential acquisitions cause individuals to see more positive thoughts. Comparing to another review that was done among the list of university students by Kammann and Flett (1983), it's discovered that students feel more happy when they think about an experiential buys than material buys. Experiential buys also bring more positive feelings as such activities are more seen as more sociable. Also, experiential buys give a positive image when compared with material acquisitions. In a report done by Boven and Gilovich (2003), they discovered that students who distributed their experiential purchases story are definitely more well-liked by the other participants than those who promote on material purchases. People liked having experiential talk. Thus, this implies that experiential purchases are brings positive emotions, and individuals will be more well-liked if they're not materialistic. Such positive thoughts and being well-liked allows individuals to be more happy.

Community Service

Happiness comes from spiritual riches, not material riches. Happiness originates from presenting, not getting. If we try hard to bring happiness to others, we can not stop it from coming to us also. To get delight, we must give it, and also to keep joy, we must scatter it. ~John Templeton

Doing community service or volunteer work can make one happy too. Like what John Templeton mentioned in his offer 'Happiness comes from giving'. We are able to be happy when we give. Carlson, Charlin and Miller (1988) suggested that individuals have significantly more positive mood when they help others. The enjoyment that individuals acquired from helping actually serves as encouragement. Also, when individuals are not sense good, they tend to find ways to help others (e. g. , quitting seats on train) so as to make themselves feel better. In a nutshell, doing community service or aiding we can feel happy as aiding induces positive thoughts.


Think Positively

Does just how we think influences the way we feel? Lots of time whenever i am upset, my friends and family will say 'Hey, don't think about it any longer, think of something happy'. So does not considering make me less upset? Does thinking about something happy makes me a happy person? Yes, indeed. The way we think indeed influences just how we feel. A report done by Holmes, Lang and Shah (2009) found that 1) individuals in the imagery condition show less state nervousness than those in verbal condition, 2) individuals in the imagery condition show increased boosts in positive influence. Imagery encourages more self-relevant control, and having positive imagery have a more impact in changing of feelings than natural imagery. Having self relevant handling mean that individual have the ability to step out their unhappy emotions and think logically, which will most likely help them to feel better, thus eventually happier. Also, corresponding to Scarr (1988), many a time, life events are all "cognitively processed", this means that whatever that took place to us are self-evaluated, interpreted and appreciated. In other words, it is up to individuals to judge whether the event that took place is good or bad. Diener (1984) proposed that to become happy individuals, must all learn to build our thoughts positively and also have positive self-views, also, respond to occasions and situations in a more positive, positive and adaptive ways. Therefore, the way we think and respond to a meeting or incidents influences our degree of happiness. To be always a happy person, we must think favorably.

Real life cases: I believe that everyone who's taking positive psychology is very stressed up with this article. And I've seen many of my friends published that they are not being very positive writing the essays, etc. I ended and appearance at their facebook status, and I realized they are not thinking positively in the first place. Without positive thoughts, writing this essay seems dreary, bleak and meaningless. Yes, I began getting the same thoughts, but when I found that your cognitive thinking is important and it will influence your pleasure, I informed myself that indeed, this article seems challenging but by writing it, I am able to know the tips to become a happier individual. Which motivates me to continue in my own research and writing of this essay.

Having Positive Public Romantic relationship and Support

Isn't it good to always have someone who you can lean on what something upsetting happens? Yes, I really like it when there are many people look after me. Cronkite, Holahan, Moos and North (2008) did a report on family predictors of joy, and they discovered that family income was not related to 1 being happy, but family support was favorably associated with pleasure. How come this so? It was discovered that having family support satisfies the essential dependence on acceptance and belonging. Matching to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, individuals can only reach the do it yourself actualization stage when they match the lower degree of needs first. Having the love and owed needs met, individuals are much nearer to self actualization. I believe that when love and owed needs are attained, individuals are more content as they feel more love, understanding that they are really accepted and love by their loved ones. And this will help to enhance their self-view. Individuals will view themselves more positively, thus, eventually having higher self-confidence because they will feel that they are really more qualified. Now, their esteem needs are found too. So now, individuals can proceed to self actualize. When one extends to the self-actualization level, they are able to see things in a far more different perspective. For instance, a self-actualized person are definitely more willing to accept individuals because of their shortcomings, and they love conditionally, also, when facing a problem, they don't focus on the situation and dwell on the challenge, but they will think of the positive lessons learnt that they can get from the situation itself. People with family support are more happy because they are able to meet all the essential needs, and they have a tendency to think more favorably when they are faced with problems. The relationship of the members of the family does have a direct effect on the level of happiness. For instance, the deeper the family members will be the more mental openness and showing that will need place within the family (Cronkite, Holahan, Moos & North, 2008). This might mean that when individuals have family support and their marriage between their members of the family are strong; most of them will share all the stressors and problems that they faced with their members of the family. Thus people with strong family support are using the right problem dealing with method (to talk and notice from people) to help them in resolving issues. In this article by Cronkite, Holahan, Moos and North (2008), they discovered that family support was more related to delight when the family income is low. Hence, in short, this finding shows that money doesn't bring ones contentment. One can be happy when they do not have money but all they have was- family support. There is not much research on friends as cultural support, but I believe that these findings within a family group support setting up can be generalized to friends' communal support. For the reason that individuals might see their good friends as one of these family. The connection that friends could show will be similar to what the family got, thus making enclosing of psychological issues and other problems. Hence, possessing a good social support is important to make one live happier.

Real life instances: I usually feel great when I know that my parents are always there for me personally, and they love me unconditionally. Despite what I did so, my parents and friends still love me. To me, Personally i think that having good social support is one of the main factors for you to be happy in particular when surviving in a collectivistic country. The feeling is definitely great when you understand you have your friends and family to visit when something occurred, you aren't only when something happened. Almost always there is shoulder that you can cry on. I appreciated I had a negative fight with my boyfriend, and I cried very terribly. Without my relatives and buddies, I might not have gotten over this matter. This is because my family users and friends devote effort to talk to me and present me advices. Their tips give me completely different perspectives and invite me to feel better. It was them who help me to move on. Sometimes all you have to is a pair of listening ears. Don't you agree?

Having Positive Emotions

Positive thoughts can increase life satisfaction (Dark brown, Cohn, Fredrickson & Mikels, 2009). Fredrickson and Cohn (2008) developed this theory- The Broaden and Build Theory. This theory proposes that positive thoughts can help build permanent resources. Research have show that induced positive feelings produces more creative thoughts and activities, and more adaptable goals and mindsets (Ashby, Isen & Turken, 1999, and Fredrickson & Cohn, 2008). Someone's life satisfaction increases as you uses the positive emotions as resources to help deal with life's challenges. Having positive emotions allows individuals to broaden their resources. It is unavoidable to handle with negative emotions, however, for many who frequently have positive thoughts are able to manage better with the negative emotions because they are in a position to use the resources they have to oppose the negative emotions (Baumeister, Bratlavsky, Finkenauer & Vohs, 2001). Positive emotions produce happy people. Positive emotions actively help people to create desirable final results (Lyubomirsky et al. , 2005). Those who experienced consistent positive emotions are more comfortable as they built resources that will assist them to handle life's troubles. Another research done by Robert and Xu (2010), it was found the partnership between positive thoughts and longevity. This research helps what Dark brown, Cohn, Fredrickson and Mikels (2009) found. It is stated that positive emotions broaden our attention course, helping us to undo what negative feelings done to us, thus build long lasting mental, physical and communal resources. And with each one of these resources, we're able to have better health and durability. Also, Waugh and Fredrickson (2006) found that positive emotions anticipate better social interactions; Berkman and Breslow (1983) discovered that positive thoughts promotes healthier actions; Isen (1987) said that positive emotions enhance creativeness. Positive feelings are predictors of physical and mental health too (Peterson, 2000). To conclude, we can be more content individuals if we have more positive thoughts because positive feelings allows us to become more creative, allow us to find more resources to deal with life's challenges and also, positive emotions allow us to see issues and problems in a different light. With all these, we see challenges as something to build us up rather than tear us down. With appropriate problem solving skills, we are able to solve problems more efficiently and also, we learnt to see things in an alternative perspectives (more positive view- problems are obstacles but not hazards), and hence, a more content us are created. Not forgetting, positive emotions can undo problems rooted in negative emotions.

Real life examples: I've more ideas when I am happy. I was thinking of the topic of this article. It was rough because firstly, this essay cost me 30 percent of my last grade. Subsequently, everyone in this cohort is too competitive. I got looking for an essay matter that my teacher can relate to (especially if it's her area of interest). In so doing, she might give me an increased class. But however, I am not really happy to write something that I'm not thinking about. At this point of time, I have to determine whether to please my teacher or to please myself. And finally, I pluck out my courage to create a topic i am interested in. Following this decision is manufactured, I feel slightly happier when i am doing something that I love. Once I thought we would write something i am thinking about, I start to have more ideas. But unfortunately, some ideas need to be forgone as there aren't any journal articles promoting them.

Knowing of Personal Strengths

Let's capture them doing right, not when they are doing wrong, says Mr. Glenn Lim, a youth presenter. How true this declaration is. A lot of time, we catch people doing wrong, and will go forward to correct them, but what about when they are doing right? We will just watch and say nothing at all about any of it. Mr. Glenn Lim also discussed earlier that as youngsters workers, we have to learn to build the youths up, like compliment them for doing something and, builds on the strengths; that's where positive young ones development comes in. In positive children development (PYD) program, the focus here is on positive benefits, unlike other programs, they concentrate on problems. More research on positive young ones development should be done to show the potency of such programs. This section was written based on personal experience and not on journal articles. Personally i think that it's important to learn one's power and build on those talents because we could work on our talents, but that doesn't mean we forget about our weakness. Weaknesses are for us to boost, and knowing our strengths make you feel good. Aren't you happy when someone actually give attention to your talents and compliment you for it? And yes, that is how exactly Personally i think. Whenever someone praised me for doing something right, Personally i think good and happy, and I'm more motivated to work hard and not disappoint anyone. If you ask me, beside me knowing my advantages, I'll feel more happy as there is a sense of self-worth. And when someone praised me for having doing something, I feel good and happy too.

Laugh more

We laugh when we are happy, but can we chuckle to make ourselves happy? The answer is yes. Anyone can chuckle without relying on jokes or funny. Science has demonstrated that your body cannot differentiate between activated and real laughter. Laughter yoga is developed by Dr. Madam Kataria. Laughter yoga can be an exercise that is started off with stimulated laughter, and eventually it causes real and contagious laughter. Laughter yoga was unveiled in colleges in India, and many professors have feedback that laughter yoga creates a more comfortable atmosphere in the school. Science has shown that laughter offers health advantages. Loud and continuous laughter of 10-15 minutes allows the body to own physiological and biochemical changes and this actually make us healthier. And such loud and ongoing laughter are contagious. Try laughing aloud, and you will experience exactly what it means by contagious laughter.


In final result, there are indeed a lot of things we can do to make us happy such as having material purchases, experiential purchases and community services. But all these are externally motivated. To be happy people, we must first learn to think positively as our thinking usually patterns our action. Next, with positive interpersonal support, we have been far better problem inside our problem resolving skills. Thirdly, positive emotions make us positive individuals, and also, positive thoughts help us to undo negativity that is within us. And in addition, it's important for us to learn our strengths as this become a motivator to take action well and keep attempting to improve. Lastly, to be happy, we should have fun more, and make laughter contagious so that we can spread this enjoyment within us to everyone. I strongly feel that before doing any volunteering work or assisting acts, we ought to work on our own happiness first. When we are actually happy, that is when we are prepared to bring joy to the life of several others.

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