Since the 20th centuries, love was also studied scientifically by psychologists. Lots of ideas and studies regarding love had been established. Regarding interpersonal attraction, it's been suggested lower self-esteem (Reik, 1944; Walster, 1965) and proximity (Bossard, 1932; Newcome, 1956; Heider, 1958) facilitate social destinations. Similarity in personality (Reader & English, 1947) and behaviour (Newcomb, 1961; Byrne & Nelson, 1965) also correlate to interpersonal attraction. Physical Elegance (Walster, Aronson, Abrahams, & Rottman, 1966) was also found to impact interpersonal attraction. Regarding to the factors leading to a satisfying and long-lasting interactions, the triangular theory of love (Sternberg, 1986) suggested that it require a strong dose of love, intimacy and commitment. It has additionally advised that high commitment level plays a part in satisfying romance through marriage maintenance mechanisms (Rusbult, Olsen, Davis, & Hannon, 2004). Finally, the self-expansion model (Aron & Aron, 1986) implies that distributed new and arousing activities and self-growth in a relationship contribute to a sustaining and happy romantic relationship.
The present research aims at evaluating factors causing social attraction, and a satisfying and long-lasting relationship
We interviewed 4 pairs of seeing lovers and 3 pairs of maried people who have maintained their going out with/marital connections for more than 1 year. Convenience sampling was used. The interview was semi-structured, in which there are a few guiding questions regarding their love stories but follow-up questions are now and again used to acquire deeper information.
Regarding the common factors of social attraction, around 50 % of the interviewees found their partner physically appealing to them when they first found, recommending that physical elegance might play an important role at the early stage of intimate interactions. Besides, similarity in personality is another commonly reported factors, especially by maried people. They explained that it is easier to get along with someone with similar personality. However, there are exceptional circumstance, in which the lovers personality differ greatly. This implies that instead of personality similarity, complementary personality can also be contributed to interpersonal attraction, as recommended by Winchs theory of complementary needs (Winch, 1958). We are not certain whether complementary personality and personality similarity is much more likely to link to interpersonal attraction and further study is required. Similarity in values is another factor, probably because people tend to generate positive feelings to people who trust their worth as recommended by the proven results (Newcomb, 1961; Byrne & Nelson, 1965). Proximity is another factors that people have indirectly observed from our interviews as it is closeness that bring chances to lovers to know and connect to each other.
For the factors contributing to a long-lasting and gratifying romantic relationship, we used several scales to measure the interviewees satisfaction of their romantic relationship, such as requesting them to rate the amount of passion, commitment and intimacy (Sternberg, 1986). All of the interviewees were highly satisfied with their romantic romantic relationships. In general, they agree that mutual respect and communication, passion and trust are factors in sustaining a relationship, which are largely match the triangular theory of love (Sternberg, 1986). We have found that seeing couples tend to be worried about the affectionate thoughts while married couples are more concerned with family principles, probably because married couples worry more about the whole family that involves more responsibilities rather than personal affection between two people. Besides, we found that women were much more likely to list communication while men were more likely to list sexual satisfaction and forgiveness in sustaining a romance. This gender difference may be developed by preexisting gender tasks in which men will apologize first while at exactly the same time they might have a better erotic drive.
We also discover some manners that may donate to a sustaining and happy romance. In general, most interviewee have made sacrifices for his or her partner and been supportive to one another. For dating lovers, they are also more likely to think that anniversary special event and personal space as important in sustaining their romance. Perhaps it is because at the earlier stage of love, enthusiasm play a more important role (Sternberg, 1986). When they have conflicts, the majority of them tend to be more rational in repairing their relationship. Each one of these actions match with the behavioral maintenance mechanisms (Rusbult, Olsen, Davis, & Hannon, 2004) which was recommended to lead to few well-being. Furthermore, dating couples often have thrilling and new experience collectively such as heading on trips while both dating couples and married couples reported they have learnt a great deal from the partnership. The result is basically steady with the self-expansion model (Aron & Aron, 1986).
To conclude, our present research discovered that factors that lead to social interest are physical attractiveness, closeness as well as similarity in personality and principles. On the other hand, we have discovered that common communication, forgiveness, willingness to make compromises, passion, and self-expansion as the factors contributing to a long-lasting and happy relationships. The result are largely in line with the existing findings and theories.
The sample size of today's study is too small. We only interviewed 3 married couples and 4 seeing lovers, which is too small to generalize the result to the all couples on the planet. Besides, once we used convenience sampling as our sampling method, the sample we used had not been representative to the populace. For example, we usually found our very own friends and the friends of our own parents to be the interviewee. Therefore, we neglect to study couples from different groups of the society. Besides, we also lack dating couples of ages about 30 as well as married couples of old age ranges due to the sampling method we used. Therefore, the generalizability of the analysis is very low. Aside from this, our study could be more complete if we can also examine some interviewees who aren't so content with their interactions and compare their love testimonies to those who have higher level of satisfaction and take into account the difference. The present study has ended centered with those successful enthusiasts.
Besides, since we used interview to look at the topic, we cannot sketch clear causal romance. For example, even when the subjects article that they feel that they like their partners for his or her similar personality, we are not sure whether their personality are more similar for their romantic relationship or it is actually the similar personality that make the emotions of preference. Actually, it is difficult to use experiments to study this topic since it is not honest nor useful to assign couples with different methods of maintaining relationship, and test their level of satisfaction some time later. Besides, we question that if there are possible ways to review love scientifically since every charming relationships is unique and it will be oversimplifying to say that it's the personality or physical appeal that lead those couples fall in love.
Moreover, the study depends on the self-report of the interviewees. This will create two problems. Firstly, the interviewees may not answer honestly. For example, the interviewees may denied that their lovers were physically appealing to them when they first fulfilled because they could not want others to feel that they only care about physical appearance. Besides, their answers were likely to be inspired by their lovers that they tended to overrate their relationship. Second of all, some factors leading to interpersonal fascination and sustaining romance might not be consciously aware of by the interviewees. For instance, some scholars suggested a person is much more likely to land in love when they are lower self-esteem (Reik, 1944; Walster, 1965). However, the interviewee might not be alert to these varieties of factors.
Lastly, cultural affects of interpersonal appeal and sustaining romantic relationship are neglected. Different civilizations may shape intimate relationships in several patterns. For cases, the Western enthusiasts appears to be more expressive while the Chinese enthusiasts are less likely to exhibit their love verbally. Therefore, it is possible that under different civilizations, people have different facets of interpersonal interest as well as gratifying and sustaining relationship. Due to limits, we failed to have a cross-cultural studies upon this topic, which are likely to generate interesting studies.
To improve the study, we have to increase our sample size and used the stratified sampling method. We should randomly chooses dating couples and married couples from different age ranges so a more representative test bottom part could be obtain to generate a more reliable result. In this way, we can likewise incorporate more lovers with lower degree of satisfaction so that we can compare the results from two teams.
Besides, a short interview might be too superficial to comprehend romantic relationship. Therefore, we can choose several cases and observe how the lovers interact in their daily lives. The technique of observation solve the issues of self-report and allow us to study individual cases more deeply, which I think is more relevant to the study of sustaining marriage and help generate a far more valid result
Moreover, whenever we are doing the interview, we can conceal the individuality of the interviewees, for example by interviewing online through typing, so the interviewees may feel safer to speak out their true feelings and responses. This help to cave in to more correct response and higher validity.
If it is possible, we can also try to compare the consequence of different ethnic groups in Hong Kong to look at the cultural influences in impacting the factors of social fascination as well as long-lasting marriage.
In short, the low generalizability and limitations of interviews is the main problems of the examining this issue. To improve, we should increase sample size and find ways to increase the exactness of self-report.