Robert J. Sternberg, psychologist and dean of the Tufts School of Arts and Sciences suggested a triangular theory of love that shows that there are three components of love: intimacy, interest, and commitment. Different combinations of these three components effect in various types of love. For instance, a mixture of intimacy and determination ends in compassionate love, while a mixture of passion and intimacy contributes to passionate love. Sternberg often said, "romantic relationships built on several elements are usually more long lasting that those based mostly upon a single aspect" [Tufts p 19]. Sternberg uses the term consummate wish to describe a mixture of intimacy, interest, and determination. While this kind of love is the strongest and most long lasting, Sternberg suggests that this kind of love is unusual. He wrote that even as an adolescent he was intrigued by the mystery of why some interactions succeed while some fail. This is why early on in his academic career he developed a conclusion, which he phone calls the "triangular theory of love. " His theory is dependant on the observation "that love contains three components. . . intimacy, passion, and dedication. Different combinations and advantages of these three elements, " Sternberg says, "produce different varieties of love. " [Tufts p. 20]
Intimacy is the thoughts in a romance that promote closeness, bonding, and hooking up with each other. Passion is what drives the relationship, physical interest, and sexual consummation in a loving relationship. Commitment consists of two parts. The foremost is a short-term aspect in which you make the decision that you love someone else and the second part is the long-term aspect in which you choose to invest in a long-term relationship and preserving the love for that person over an extended time period [Everything2]. Sternberg also gives a detailed explanation of the types of love. "Infatuated love", for example, is all love, without intimacy or commitment. Passionate love has interest and intimacy but lacks determination. "Companionate love, " he says, "results when we have only intimacy and determination, just as a long-term deep friendship. " The type of love that embodies all three components he message or calls "consummate love" [Tufts p. 21]. Sternberg uses the triangle to spell it out different way we evolve to being in love. Each aspect of the triangle represents the proportion of every component with respect to the other two. The condition of the triangle that Sternberg uses is meant to symbolize the total amount between intimacy, passion and commitment, because it is equal on all factors. This is the kind of love we all hope for at one point and time. It is also the sort of love we have a tendency to connect with living a life full of love and joy. Sternberg acknowledges that few human being relationships can maintain this perfect balance indefinitely, yet many human relationships succeed in the facial skin of enormous obstacles because both get-togethers highly value consummate love, seek it out and work hard to keep it. [Tufts p. 21]
Sternberg wished his theory of love to show us real love should develop, but it addittionally meant to be utilized as to show us how we can develop adoring and caring human relationships with everyone that is aside of our own life. In his review of human connections, Sternberg learned that "couples tended to be more happy when that they had more of the three components of love. And it helped if their love triangles matched in size and shape-that is, if the total amount and kind of love each partner experienced for the other was about the same. " [Tufts p. 21]
I think that the love triangle is great. When the level of love shared by two different people is excellent, so is the region of the love triangle and vice versa. However, the greater a specific component of love, like love, the further the idea from the guts of the triangle is to that component. This is why the shape of the love triangle is reliant on the strength of different workings of love. The condition of the triangle will and really should evolve as time passes. We may achieve such perfect forms of love as consummate love, but everybody knows that perfect of love is hard to keep up over time because to preserve it, we should nourish all of its components. The greater some works on keeping the three the different parts of consummate love in balance and nourished, the much more likely such a love will be managed for a long period of their time. Love it's home is so strong. I have already been "in love" several times. When I did so this writing assignment I realize that I was not really in love until I met my husband. I needed the triangle and likened the components to my previous relationships and there is no comparison to what I've now. In contemporary society today, when someone mentions the word "Love" it is guaranteed that at least half people adjoining you will shudder. Whether it is through observation or experience, folks have come to discover that love is definately not being the ideal state in which one should live in and, for that matter; many choose to remain away from it. It is recognized to break hearts, to damage feelings and, contrary to popular belief, it truly is not always gladly ever after. Yes, Love has its positive factors. It is thrilling and exciting when you're in love, it is sometimes even euphoric but the argument here is not whether Love is good or bad for you. You and only you may make that decision.
- Sternberg, Robert J. 2007. Gladly ever after, Tufts Magazine 14: 3) 19-23.
- http://www. everything2. com/index. pl?node=emotion